sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
