you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
