had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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