Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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