Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
