butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
