Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
