Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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