I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
