and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
