Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
