I don't think brook has ever known best
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
