laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
