so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I will be naked everywhere
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
