no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
