I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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