College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
