Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
