She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
