Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
