I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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