1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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