$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
