I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
