She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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