i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
