I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
