PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
