We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
