i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
