we're chasing vodka with high fives
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
