Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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