How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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