ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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