You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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