I heard we made out
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
