i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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