Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
