Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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