You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
