oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
