mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
