why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
