So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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