I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sober January is a disaster.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
