you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
