Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
God, I missed his penis.
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