do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
