omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
