Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
