Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
