So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
