The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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