Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
